Week 28: Pole Dancing

Exercise classes have certainly come a long way....
With the eighties came the step class, the nineties brought Billy Blank's Tae Bo, with the millennium came Hot Yoga. Here we are in 2010 paying $20 an hour to learn how to ride the rail from a professional stripper. Hilarious.

For week twenty eight, I headed out determined to learn a few fancy moves on the fireman's pole. Expecting to look and feel like complete fool, I B-lined to the back row of the class. Good God- why did they have a wall length mirror in here?

Seconds later the music started up. Unsurprisingly is was that sort of music that plays in the strip club scene of movies. You know the kind that goes BOW WOW WOW BROW. The instructor/stripper warmed us up by walking in a sexy (awkward for most of us...) way around the pole a few times and then a few bends and kicks. Next came the pole twirls and holds that were a lot harder than they look! My arms were starting to feel a little stripped-out at this point.

The instructor/stripper caught on that most of us were getting a little tired, so she taught us what she called "filler moves" that she uses on the job so that she doesn't have to twirl and hang upside down for a full 3 minute song. The commonality among the filler moves was the speed at which they were performed. Slow hair spinning, slow kicking and slow bending-over-to-touch-your-toes. Some how doing all of these simple things slowly was supposed to be sexy. I'm not sure I pulled it off, but I could see how it worked for her.

After an hour of instruction I was completely sure that pole dancing was not my calling. But it was worth the $20 and now I know if I was ever down on my luck I could have a back up plan (just kidding mom!).

Overall Rating on the Calling Scale: 2 out of 10

Week 27: House Yoga

What a crazy couple!
From a distance, house music and yoga seem to go together like peanut butter and barbecue sauce or chocolate milk and tequila. But this week I learned that the unlikely union of house music and yoga is surprisingly tasty!
Two of my favourite things came together this week for one sweaty, mixed up, dancey, stretchy of a time. You can find house yoga classes every Monday night at 7:30pm at Aradia fitness on Queen street West.


You can expect to close your eyes and dance raver style while staring at your belly-button in your downward dog. What Fun!


I think this may be a little too niche to be my calling, but a serious good time! What is your favourite fitness class? Let me know by commenting on this post and I'll give it a try!

Overall rating on the calling scale: 8 out of 10

Words

"You know life is so short and there is so much I want to do, like in a hundred years we are dust. So you gotta make hay when the sun shines."

-Douglas Coupland; author

Week 26: Hula Hoop

Hula Hooping. Yes hula hooping... you know... that thing you did at age 7 when no one was available to jump rope and your mom sent you to "play outside for some fresh air"? Ya that.

Well let me tell you that hula hooping has come a longgggg way. Somewhere in the last twenty years hula hooping went from innocent hip waggling and pig tails to sexed up hip rolling and blonde hair extensions. This week I attended one of these "grown up" hula hoop classes at Aradia Fitness , advertised as North America's Leading Pole Dancing and Sensual Fitness Company offering Pole Dancing, Lap Dancing, Striptease, Bachelorette parties and... Hula Hooping?


I arrived at class to find the studio at Aradia lined with stripper poles, which I quickly learned were unfriendly obstacles to my hula hoop. We went over the basics for a while for those who hadn't thought of hula hooping since they graduated middle school. After a few minutes of my toes being crushed at the hands of my fallen hoop, I eventually picked up the simple hoop spin. Martina, our instructor uped the ante by having us try jumping, twirling and salsa dancing while hula hooping.

I was looking for a good time and I found it - watching a room full of grown women attempting to rotate their hips side to side while salsa stepping front to back - while also trying to keep a hula hoop up--- thats true entertainment. The class was about an hour long and we were challenged with a few other hoop "tricks" like turning in circles, standing on one foot and plieing while hooping. I tried not to glance at the wall-length mirror mid- trick, as my hula moves looked very similar to an electronic robot.



By the end of the class I was dizzy and bruised. I doubt this is my calling, but it was fun and I recommend you try it.

Overall Rating on the calling Scale: .5 out of 10

Good Hula Hooping outfits

Words

"One thing I know, mediocrity is the enemy of success, and we should not fool ourselves into thinking good is great. "

- Mireille Guiliano; author of Women, Work and the Art of Savoir Faire

Week 25: Going GaGa

This week I became fascinated by the cultural phenomenon that is Lady GAGA.
Why are people so obsessed with this absurd woman? I mean I know she’s bizarre and out there or whatever- but doesn't it all look just a little too familiar? Madonna already made all the same statements decades ago when it actually ruffled feathers to show catholic rosary beads alongside S&M and androgyny. We've all been watching Madonna's videos on lame re-run channels like Much More Music ever since music videos on tv were cool and they played the whole thing... the shock value wore off long ago. GaGa's "edgy" look feels more like a faux Gucci fanny pack knock off you get in one of those back rooms on Spadina.

Regardless of my annoyance by her image, I would be lying if I said her songs weren't catchy. So when my friend Christine told me about a Lady GaGa dance workshop, I decided to spend a night walking in her 11 inch heelless platform boots.

preparing for the transformation, I pulled out my hooded black body suit, magnified monocle and fingerless motorcycle gloves and headed out to a Lady GaGa work shop at the City Dance Corps on Queen St. West. I was unsure of what to expect because I know GaGa does a lot of posing and pouting, but not sure I’ve witnessed a whole lot of dancing...


The class began with a quick warm up of hip shaking and head rolling and then we moved into choreography. The dance routine was pretty simple with over 16 counts of snapping your fingers and stomping around in circles with waving zombie arms. By the time the class came to an end I was sweating a lot but probably due to the lack of AC in the dance studio - it's pretty hard to work up a sweat by snapping your fingers.

Fun times and all, but I don' t think going GaGa is my calling

Overall Rating on the calling Scale: 5.5 out of 10

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Where's My calling blog ws recently featured on popular Sogni e Sorrisi Blog! Thanks Connie- I love your blog!